1. Things I Have Going For Me: Resting Bitch Face, Thick Thighs and Sarcasm
Tell people a little about yourself with this awesome tank. Straight to the point.
2. Fitness Level: Not Terrible But Definitely Enjoys Donuts
You go to the gym but you enjoy the occasional glazed donut. Big deal.
3. Does Running Out Of Fucks Count As Cardio?
We think it should count as cardio because cardio sucks.
4. But Did You Die Though?
That work out was super hard, but did you die?
5. I Run Better Than The Government
6. If I've Ever Offended You I'm Sorry... That You're A Little Bitch
Sorry, I'm not sorry.
7. Sorry I'm Late! I Didn't Want To Come...
Every gym session ever
8. My Sports Bra Works Out Harder Than You
Its true... my sports bra is working hard
9. Yeah No Don't Put Me Down For Cardio
As already established with #3... Cardio Sucks.
10. You Make My Knees Weak! J/K Yesterday Was Leg Day!
Gotta love this one... I mean we love our men, but nothing makes the knees wobble like leg day
11. Namast'ay In Bed
For the yogies... who would rather sleep in
12. I Run Embarrassingly Short Distances
I run all the time. Not far, but I run.